Over the last 5 years in my work as a coaching psychologist (MSc), counsellor (MA), and group facilitator, my passion has always been relational work. I’ve helped individuals heal, grow, and find a sense of belonging. But recently, I’ve felt drawn to working more closely with couples. My journey into couples counseling has been one of discovery, and I’m excited to bring these tools to the couples I work with.
But not all counseling methods resonate with me. Over the years, I’ve explored various modalities, from Gottman’s Method to CBT for couples. However, it wasn’t until I encountered Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) that I truly felt aligned with a practice.
Why EFT?
One of the major influences in my practice has always been attachment theory, and EFT is deeply rooted in this approach. EFT allows me to support couples in building a secure emotional bond by exploring the underlying emotions and unmet needs that may be causing distance. The beauty of EFT is its ability to address both past wounds and present disconnects, enabling couples to rebuild their connection and trust in a safe and structured environment.
My EFT Journey:
In Shanghai, my partner and I wanted to explore EFT for ourselves, but to our surprise, we found no professionals who were trained in this modality (if you happen to know of anyone, please connect them with me :). This gap inspired me to complete the EFT foundational course (Externship) specifically designed for trained therapists, and I was amazed by the depth and safety of the practice. The trainers, the methodology, and the community were everything I had hoped for.
Now, I’m continuing my training with an advanced EFT course to further refine my skills. This allows me to offer EFT-based couples counseling with a deeper level of expertise. To ensure the highest quality of service, I will occasionally record sessions (with your consent) to review with my EFT supervisors. This is to ensure I am providing the best possible care for every couple I work with.
Why Couples Counselling?
Every relationship goes through ups and downs. Sometimes, you might find yourself at a point where you and your partner are struggling to communicate or resolve issues. You may feel like you’re stuck in a loop of miscommunication, anger, or emotional distance. That’s where counseling comes in. Couples counselling provides a safe and impartial space for you and your partner to explore your relationship. It’s a place where difficult emotions can be expressed, and new patterns of understanding can emerge. Sometimes, all it takes is having a neutral third party to help facilitate communication and restore connection.
The Role of the Counsellor: A Process Consultant
As your counsellor, my job is to create a space where both of you feel safe, respected, and heard. It’s not about fixing or changing you as individuals, but about helping you better understand each other’s emotions, needs, and triggers. EFT creates the container for that process, allowing us to focus on: Identifying the emotional barriers keeping you from connecting. Exploring past hurts and their influence on your present relationship dynamics. Helping you develop a deeper emotional understanding of each other, building empathy, trust, and security.
By softening defenses and opening up to vulnerability, we can begin to heal the underlying wounds that may be affecting your relationship. This isn’t about blame; it’s about understanding the dynamics at play and creating a path forward that honors both of you.
The Power of EFT: Rebuilding Trust and Connection
The breakdown of intimacy often brings with it feelings of fear, anger, hurt, and sadness. These emotions are natural, but they can create a cycle of disconnection in your relationship. EFT is a powerful tool in breaking that cycle by focusing on:
Attachment: EFT works on creating a secure attachment bond between partners, fostering emotional safety and connection.
Vulnerability: Couples gradually learn to be more vulnerable, sharing deeper parts of themselves with their partner. As they do this, they begin to receive more empathetic responses, which help to rebuild trust.
Empathy: Through EFT, partners can cultivate greater empathy for each other, deepening their emotional bond and helping them navigate difficult conversations with greater care and compassion.
The Invitation: A Few Limited Spaces Available
As I continue to refine my EFT skills, I am opening a few spots for couples who are willing to participate in counseling sessions that may be recorded (with full confidentiality) for review. This is an opportunity for me to work with you closely while benefiting from expert supervision to ensure the best care possible.
Conclusion: Healing and Flourishing Together
Whether you’re experiencing emotional distance, trust issues, or simply want to deepen your connection, EFT provides a structured, safe, and compassionate way to navigate the complexities of your relationship. Together, I can help you rebuild a strong, secure bond that will support both of you in flourishing individually and relationally.
If you’re ready to explore how Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can transform your relationship, I invite you to reach out to schedule a session. Let’s begin the journey toward healing and connection.With care,
Iza
Individual & Couples Counseling