“And I said to my body softly, ‘I want to be your friend.’ It took a long breath and replied, ‘I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.’” ~Nayyirah Waheed
One of my fave poems… You might ask why? As a health coach, I work a lot with the body and its wisdom. Teaching others how to listen to their bodies is rarely an easy task as most of us have been disconnected from our internal messages since childhood (the parents always know better, right?!). We were told things like, ‘Be a good girl/boy and clean your plate’ - even though you have no desire to eat anymore; ‘put on a jacket and a hat’ - even though you’re feeling sweaty and warm. From a young age, we have been told what to eat, how to act, and what to look like in order to belong and be loved. As children, we needed to survive, so we slowly disconnected from our internal bodies’ wisdom. But now, as adults, we can take care of ourselves and re-learn the body’s language. Now, you might ask, why would we want to do that?
Our bodies, unlike our souls, are part of the Earth and need to align with the rhythms of nature. Like in the four seasons, the human body needs to create, produce, engage in a lot of play, and sometimes, it also needs to rest and slow down. But we, as humans, don’t like slowing down. In fact, most of us believe that slowing down equals being lazy. Most of us are like machines, working overtime and numbing the signals coming from our bodies (been there, done that!). But what if today, you decided to do things differently? What if today, you decided to trust and tune in to your body's messages?How about starting every morning and ending every day by asking your body, ‘What do you need right now?’
And how about asking questions as you go on with your day, such as, ‘Are you hungry?’, ‘Are you tired?’, ‘How do you feel after eating this?’, ‘How does being in the company of this person make you feel? Relaxed? Jittery?’ or ‘Notice if there’s a part that’s holding tension? If so, where is it located? What shape does it have? How does it feel?’ Take a moment to tune in and you might get surprised by the wisdom you might learn. At first, these questions and listening to the answers may be so foreign to you that you might not understand right away... But be patient, as it has been a long time since you last communicated with your body. You have to re-learn your body language.
You might wonder, ‘Why?’, ‘Why would I want to put in so much effort?’ After all, learning a new language is difficult. But I am here to tell you that you must do so if you want to live a healthy, meaningful, and fulfilling life.
We get angry with our body and think it has turned against us when we’re diagnosed with depression or disease. But what if that was the way our body chose to tell us that we had lost our way? What if our body was healthy, and we were the ones who forgot how to listen to its warnings? What if we were the ones who made the body unhealthy? What if I told you that your body loves you with every fibre of your being? Would you believe me?
Remember the times you told yourself, ‘I am fine pulling an all-nighter because of work demands’, ‘I can drink as much as I want’ or ‘I can stuff myself on sweets and junk food and then go on a diet the next day’. If you asked your body, it would most likely answer, ‘No, you can’t. And because I love you so much, I won’t let you do it.’
Remember the times you told yourself, ‘I want to watch Netflix the whole day and order takeout because this is how I relax’. If you asked your body, it would most likely answer, ‘No, I won’t let you do that. I want you to move and feed yourself with nourishing food.’
Sometimes, when you stay in a relationship that doesn’t serve you right or keep a job that drains all your energy, your body might send you a signal. It might start with cold after cold, maybe a migraine, or mild insomnia… But if you don’t listen to the messages, these signals get stronger and stronger. You might ask, ‘Why? Why is my body so cruel? Why has it turned against me?’ But has it? What if I told you that your body has your best interest at heart. What if, instead of blaming your body for not being strong enough, pretty enough or thin enough, you actually listened to it? Your body is constantly communicating with you and telling you how to be healthy, happy, and comfortable in your own skin.
Sometimes, as you might not like your body and think it is out of control, you might try to regain control and develop an eating disorder or start self-harming. But remember that your body is not obligated to conform to your culture’s beauty standards. As a sovereign intelligence, it refuses to listen to the beauty industry, which has neither of these traits. The culture we live in tells you that you are not enough, that you need to be thinner, younger, prettier, smarter, and stronger. Whereas your body tells you, ‘You were always more than enough and I love you.’
I wrote a love letter to my body a while ago, which I recite by standing naked in front of a mirror.
Dear Body,
Thank you for being my home on this Earth.
Thank you for your smile and the stories you tell.
Thank you for the tears that help me grieve all that was meant and not meant for me.
Thank you for giving me the freedom to move and explore.
Thank you for teaching me the language of love.
Thank you for being my diary of life that stores memories of what happened so far.
Thank you for giving me signs to slow down when I am busy running on the treadmill of life.
From the beginning to the end you are my best friend on this Earth.Iza @thriveinshanghai
If you’d like, you could use my gratitude letter to show appreciation to your body or could write your own and share it with us.
As a closing sentence, I want to thank Maria for letting me use her poems throughout this article.
That’s all from me. Thank you for reading, for being here, and for spreading the word about my work so that my articles can be read by more people.
With love,
Iza
Coaching Psychologist and Relationship Coach
selfgrowthcourses.com thriveinshanghai.com