December.
How's it going? Currently, I’m in a rather joyful and peaceful place, but throughout this year there were moments when I felt nothing but stress and dread…hence, first, I want to thank you for being here with me throughout this wild year and giving me reasons to keep moving forward.
In preparation to close out 2020 and bring in 2021, I have been reflecting a lot on my growth journey and all the ups and downs of this year. So much has happened… I completed my thesis, got my International Coaching Accreditation (ICF), reached Masters Reiki level, explored two new countries, co-created the Self-love course, scripted and recorded meditations for the Polish market, made new beautiful friends, transitioned from health coaching into more holistic coaching, fell in love, fell out of love, broke my heel, healed my heel, adopted a kitten, created content, procrastinated, cried for days, laughed a lot, and so much more!
What about you? Begin by thinking back to the start of 2020 and journal about any significant events or breakthroughs that happened this year. Reflect on the lesson of every one of them and then really acknowledge how far you’ve come.
In 2020 we have been through a lot collectively. It has been a time of great uncertainty and emotions. Yet, it’s also the year in which many of us found inner-strength we didn’t even know we always had within us. The truth is that when life throws us a curveball we only have two choices, to either ‘roll with it’ or ‘feel overwhelmed and get stuck’. The latter one is a very human thing to do but at some point (especially this year… when curveballs were literally bombarding us) the first option is no longer possible and ‘rolling with it’ becomes the only choice. This year showed us that life never goes how we think it’s going to – which is a beautiful thing! But not if we let ourselves dwell on what could have been. For example, when things got really hard for me (aka, when I lost my ability to walk for 4 weeks, was going through a breakup, and lost income in the middle of Covid!) I felt hopeless at times but I kept reminding myself that life is a constant dance between dark and light, fear and love, joy and tears, death and re-birth, and when one thing falls apart, something more beautiful is being created. When I stopped getting so upset and resisting my reality, things unexpectedly got better, and I was finally able to relax into what is unfolding, grow from it, and move forward.
Now with Xmas just around the corner and with ongoing coronavirus fervour, this festive season might look different than expected. Even during ‘normal’ circumstances, I’ve noticed how we often allow ourselves to get stressed out and depleted during a season that is supposed to be a “holiday”. So today I invite you to pause, put the wrapping paper down, step away from your usual coping strategies, stop thinking about those last-minute shopping trips, and actually reflect on how you’d like to experience this season. Afterward, I would like you to give yourself the gift of acceptance this Xmas. Accepting who you are and where you are in your journey through life. Whatever you’re struggling with at this moment imagine if…
… you were willing to embrace your fear with the same amount of love and attention as you’re able to embrace your courage?
… you were willing to embrace our failures with the same amount of love as you are able to embrace your success?
… you were willing to embrace your procrastination with the same amount of love as you are able to embrace your creativity?
Would you still feel stuck, worried, and overwhelmed? Or would you be able to move forward? Remember, you cannot heal what you criticise, deny, or reject. What you resist persists! You must learn to treat yourself with love and compassion. Jelena and I will be facilitating the Self-love course again, starting 24 January 2021. Gift yourself and your loved ones with the course.
Lastly, pandemic (lockdowns/masks), Xmas without families, and daily stress just don't mix well, and many of you might be feeling extra anxious, sad, and overwhelmed by these unusual circumstances. Feelings, as I mentioned in my previous blogpost, are involuntary and impossible to control and the healthiest way is to just feel them. Thoughts, on the other hand, are something you have control over, and thoughts not only create feelings but also keep the feelings alive.
“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control”
Here are two ways to give you some control over your thoughts…
The STOP method developed by Jon-Kabat Zin, a scientist and mindfulness researcher.
Here’s how to do it:
When you find yourself overwhelmed, spiraling down the negative loop, or trying to numb yourself by reaching for the vice of your choice (food/alcohol/cigarettes/porn, etc.) do this instead:
S: Say the world Stop out loud. And then whatever you’re doing, just pause for a moment.
T: Take a deep breath. Re-connect with your body through your breath. The breath is an anchor to the present moment.
O: Observe. Notice .what is happening What is happening inside you, and outside of you? Where has your mind gone? What do you feel? What are you doing?
P: Proceed. Continue doing what you were doing. Or don’t: Use the information gained during this check-in to change course. Whatever you decide to do, do it mindfully (aka slowly and with presence).
Another approach that I often use with my coaching clients is a powerful sequence of questions created by Byron Katie know as The Work. Example questions include:
1. Is my take on the situation factually true?
2. Can I absolutely know that’s true?
3. How do I react, what happens, when I leave that thought?
4. Who would I be without that thought?
You can find more resources and exercises designed by Byron Katie by clicking on this link www.thework.com
Ahhh talking about feeling stress… real chocolate (including cocoa powder) is an incredibly high source of magnesium. And when people have enough magnesium they feel better, so why not treat yourself, friends, and neighbours to some brownies. Here is the recipe…
Iza’s Snow Fudge Brownies (gluten-free)
Ingredients:
raw cacao powder - 1/2 cup
maple syrup - 1/2 cup
coconut oil - 1/3 cup
organic eggs - 3
cassava flour - 1/2 cup (cassava flour is resistant starch, which is a type of prebiotic)
vanilla extract - 1 tablespoon
salt - 1/2 teaspoon
baking soda - 1/4 teaspoon
cacao nibs - 3 tablespoons
3 drops of DoTerra cardamon oil (optional)
Method:
Preheat oven to 180 C degrees and grease a glass baking dish with some coconut oil.
In a small pan, combine the cacao, coconut oil, and maple syrup. Melt over low heat, stirring. Pour into a mixing bowl.
Add the remaining ingredients and mix well.
Scoop into the prepared baking dish.
Bake for 20 minutes, or until they pass the toothpick test.
White frosting
1 cup Medjool dates
½ cup room temperature water, plus hot water for soaking
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
pinch of salt
250 grams of cream cheese
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
Method:
Place the dates in a heatproof bowl and pour hot water over them until they are covered (this ensures that the dates are hydrated and soft enough to blend—don’t skip this step!). Let them soak for 10 minutes, then drain.
Once the dates are cool enough to handle, remove the pits and discard them.
In a food processor, combine the pitted dates, ½ cup room temperature water, vanilla, and a little pinch of salt.
Process until the date mixture is quite smooth, about 1 to 2 minutes, pausing to scrape down the sides as necessary. Then, add the cream cheese and butter and blend until smooth and fluffy.
Spread the frosting over your brownies.
I hope you love these gooey homemade brownies as much as I do! Let me know if you do make them by snapping a pic and tagging me on your Instagram @thriveinshnaghai or WeChat stories. I always love hearing from you!
And here are 5 things I’m loving this month and want to share with you:
I’m loving sipping on Ginger Lemon Rooibos Tea - how do you make it? Add some freshly grated ginger, freshly squeezed lemon juice, rooibos tea, and hot water - let it brew for a while. You can add some cayenne pepper and raw honey too if you want.
I’m loving Lalu’s moisturiser and her hibiscus toner which I have been gifted with, as well as natural candles from FeedHer - great Xmas Prezzie!
I’m re-reading and re-listening to “The Book of She” by Sara Avant Stiver - another one of my all-time favourite. Honestly, this book is such a beautiful present for any woman - if you’re a man reading it, get it for all the women in your family.
I’m loving the Christmas and snow tunes on Spotify. My top three songs are Brenda Lee, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”; Michael Buble, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas”; Ariana Grande, “Santa Tell Me”.
I’m loving spending time with my little Sia. About a month ago I adopted a 7-month-old kitten. I always thought I was more a dog person rather than a cat person… but after adopting this little one, I have completely fallen head over heels 😍 for this one… how could I not 🤷♀️, I suppose. What is she like? Well…She loves being given a copious and undivided amount of love and attention. She loves sleeping on me, following me around, and loves to play. She doesn’t like being left alone and dislikes people she doesn’t already know. Feeling very grateful for having her in my life.
Hope you enjoyed scrolling through here - I hope you and your loved ones have a Xmas full of snuggly blankets, yummy food, holiday films, and fun activities.
Warmly,
Izabela Misiuk, MSc, ACC (ICF), PHC
Holistic Health Coach & Positive Psychologist
P.S. And a special shout out to my beautiful friend Ara, who is leaving China this weekend. Ara, I wish you joy, love, and all the best on your new adventure. Love ya girl!
